First Think, THEN Ink.

I've been busy with writing and of course, when that happens, there's even more writing to do.

First is the novel, which has had the clock stopped because...

Second I'm working on a pilot for a television series. But, I'm not just working on that script, I'm working with a couple of Hollywood producers who are expert at what they do and they're helping me with the process. It's been daunting, frightening, humbling and very rewarding so far, and the stuff I'm learning will definitely help me with all my writing in the future, so it has been completely worthwhile, whether or not this pilot ever gets seen by anyone. The nice thing is, the early comments from them are going pretty well which is encouraging - maybe it will get seen and maybe it will get some sort of life?

That doubles back to the point that what I'm learning in the process for this pilot can be used to sharpen and focus my novel as well, all the more reason to stop the clock on that. I already knew was a rewrite coming there, but now, I can already see other elements that will make the story flow better and be more dramatic, based on the newly acquired skills in my writer's tool box, so all the better.

And the topper is a series of freelance pieces about travel related topics, a totally different kind of animal. Luckily, the time frame is a bit more open ended so not a lot of pressure, but some more direct funding is attached, making it the most lucrative job I haven't quite started.

I really wanted things to get busy. This is the proof that wishes do come true!

I happened across a story about a guy who was giving away his two screen motion picture theater, located in Houlton, ME, a quaint and charming town just this side of the Canadian border. To claim it, you had to write a 250 word essay on why you wanted it. The market value to purchase the theater is $350,000, and the place actually looks pretty neat, just based on the stuff they showed.

The concept of writing an essay to get a movie house, no matter where it was located in the USA, seemed intriguing but, of course, there is a catch: a one-hundred dollar entry fee. And there was a secondary notation: money refunded if fewer than 3,500 entries were received by January 31.

You don't have to be a mathematician to know what's going on here. This guy wants his $350K for the sale of his Milk Duds, but he apparently can't get anyone to pay it out flat. So, create a contest, get 3,500 people (or more!) to enter, get your pricetag (or more!) and hand over the keys to whomever you want.

Actually, they are apparently attempting to be fair about it: the essay may not have a name attached to it and after the first round of judging, the top essays will be ranked by a panel of three independent judges, presuming the 3500 entries are received.

Still it feels like getting rid of a white elephant to me, despite the fact that it's a contest, and it really isn't a "giveaway," if you have to spend 100 bucks for the entry fee. Plus, what's the deal on property tax if you "give" the place away as opposed to selling it? I guess that's for the courts to decide.

I applaud the person who thought to try this concept and it would be great for a local to win it, since they presumably care about this old theater and have attended many movies there, over time. But, for the rest of us, relocating to one of the northernmost points of the forty-eight contiguous might be a lot more trouble than it's worth.

The other little nagging element that all of this raises: I wonder if more and more people are going to try similar things to move their real estate off the market if they can't get their pricetag? Would this constitute a lottery, and would it actually be legal if suddenly everyone from New York condos to Malibu Beach Houses started doing it? And would someone hire me to write their essay?

I am, for the very, very first time, signing up for therealljidol, which seems to also be...

The Very Very Last incarnation of therealljidol!

Good luck to us all.

Since I have written professionally (and I'm always looking to do that again), and my name and email are actually out there, it's only natural that companies that want to sell me software to help me craft some story or screenplay are sending me messages, hoping I'll buy their products.

I got one notice today and it reads as follows:

"Inept Writer's Software Program" (my way of preventing a free plug for these doofs) is a step-by-step writing system designed for the aspiring writer. As your creative writing partner, "Inept Writer's Software Program" takes you to a special place, a story development environment where together you’ll solve the plot and character problems that prevent many stories from becoming great enough to sell.

You’ll cast and build your characters, plot out your story, layer in themes with universal meaning, and put it all together into scenes to form a solid step outline. And as your mentor, the "Inept Writer's Software Program" will do something no other writing program can do - it predicts parts of your story based on creative decisions you make!

Knowledge is power and "Inept Writer's Software Program" inspires you with ideas to develop your story and make it even tighter - with no plot holes or character inconsistencies.

I think if there's truth in advertising, I just came up with a million dollar title for their CD-ROM.

But back to the point. I want to say I'm astounded and horrified at this, but sadly I am not. Now, not only don't you have to be a professional writer to be a writer... now you don't even need to be able to write! Just type in a few ideas you had, and let some software program spit your script back to you, in format, no less!

Of course, here's the problem with that... if a bunch of people do this, using that program, we can presume that bunch of people are going to get, if not identical scripts, certainly similar ones! So the race is to the Copyright Office, where the person with the earliest date on their form wins the chance to sue all other "writers" for "plagiarism."

Hollywood encourages laziness in writers. They don't want "different." They want "commercial." And here's the response: paint by numbers stories with two-dimensional characters. It's about the special effects anyway, isn't it? Every movie has to be in 3D, and who cares about "story?"

Seeing this, reading the stories of the projects that are getting made, it all serves to be extremely discouraging to me because none of it is anything I would be interested in seeing... well, not "none" of it, but the vast majority of it is just junk food for the mind. It doesn't look like there's any space available for the things I want to see.

But maybe that means there is? Maybe I am the hardhead.