Permanence - A Friday Afternoon Thinkpost.

[penpusher]

Permanence. Is there any such thing? Of course not. Nothing is really permanent, at least not to us temporarily living creatures.

I remember hearing about LJ Permanent Accounts and thinking when I had first heard of them, how great that would be to have. No need to renew. No need to worry that your account would disappear, or be on the slow servers, or lose your icons.

Now that this coming Tuesday is "LJ Perm Acct Day," I have to say I'm ambivilent about it, at best. First of all, $150.00? That would be six years at the current rate card. What will you be doing in 2011? I mean, besides the continued grousing about that monstrosity on the West Side: Jets Stadium, and next year's Summer Olympics for sure. Aside from that? Hard to know.

The fact that they gave about a week's notice to share this info doesn't help the case. I have to think seriously about this, and this is a bit on the pricey side as an "impulse purchase," which is basically what the powers at LJ are making it. And, yes, there is the small point that I would have already paid for a perm account (or at least 2/3rds of this new one), had I the opportunity to have done so as I paid for my years here to date. Bad timing on that.

Is LJ still the place to be, and will it continue to be years from now?

Certainly I like, enjoy and appreciate the people on my friendslist. But even a "friend" isn't forever, as I'm sure you know.

Sometimes, I think things like friendship and jobs and love are reliant mostly on the "fit." How do you fit in with the people you're dealing with in those situations? If you don't fit, you are removed. If you don't work in the same way, you are excised. If you don't share the same feelings, you are taken out of the equation.

The question is why? Why don't you fit? Different age group? Different social cues? Different way of seeing life? Does it even matter? The point is you don't belong there, and you are being told this in the most obvious way possible. That's a good thing, right? It has to be. It's information you need to know.

It seems that sometimes the harder you try to fit, the more out of place you appear. This only calls attention to you being considered wrong, and may only serve to speed up the process of your removal.

Finding where you actually do belong is a life-long quest. It isn't easy, because if you are not there, and you think you are, you are spinning your wheels in the sand, while you believe you're merrily traveling down the road. This is where it really gets difficult, because if you have to leave, you will come to feel you've wasted your time, and that can bring on feelings of embarrassment, resentment, or worse.

But through it all, nothing is permanent. Just when you think you have your life under control, a person, an event, a something comes along and everything is upside-down and backwards. This might actually be good for you in the long run, but it certainly changes your view, and that changes it all.

My journal has changed several times through its existence. It began as a PR attempt for a book I wrote. Then it became a typical interaction place, and a place for me to write essays about topics that were important to me. Later, it became even more social, with documentation of trips and gatherings. Now, it's... whatever it is. Even I don't quite recognize it.

Change is just a part of the trip. What it seems to call on, for me, is that you need to be ok with yourself. If your Inner Core, the part of you that the YOU comes from is able to understand, process and appreciate who you are, nothing could ever completely throw you off track. This is mostly mental, this life, and the experiences of it are, in many cases, in your own mind. So, coming to terms with that would be a crucial step in helping you down the path.

Through LJ, I have seen into many people's lives, I've met people I would have never imagined meeting, and I've had experiences that are unforgettable. Clearly, a big part of my life is invested in the things that have happened because of my journal. Where it goes from here, I still don't know.

I guess I have another four days to decide.

Comments

[hazelnut96.livejournal.com]

Excellent thinkpost. Often things I have wondered about fleetingly when I'm waiting at a stoplight.

[listliss.livejournal.com]

I thought about it for a few hours. I decided not to get a perm. account. Instead, I'm going to get a typepad account.

[angher.livejournal.com]

$150??? Holy Crap

Im a whine ass when I have to pay $25. I have a hard time thinking past a day let alone a year or more Geeesh

[genesisdiem.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'll ever get a permanent account, but stick with my paid account instead. I have decided to print off hard copies of my journal and save those instead. that way, if I ever tire of LJ, I've got it all and can just walk away. Most everyone on here I want to know, I have emails for. I dunno.
And you've got some very good points in this post. I like a thinker. :)

[bubblesinmyhead.livejournal.com]

The way I justified it is they aren't going to delete free accounts and if they try to, I'll simply download what I have here. I enjoy having a paid account because I like the extra icons, layouts, posting by email and etc, but five years from now even if I am using livejournal (which would be a surprise in itself) I probably would be satisfied enough with a free account.

[dabroots.livejournal.com]

I bought a permanent account in early 2002 for $100, just weeks after I first discovered this place. That was also while I was (a) Less than a year out of my marriage (b) Feeling cocky and excited over dating again for the first time since 1989 (c) Using my credit card for all kinds of crazy shit.

Do I regret it? No, not really.

[jesspark.livejournal.com]

When they used to offer permanent accounts for a hundred bucks, I seriously considered getting one, but -- of course -- they always offered them when I was low on cash, so I settled for renewing my paid account year after year. You and I talked briefly about how the mood of LJ changes from time to time, and--well, I don't count on it being around for another six years. If it is, then I'll probably still be writing in it, but I don't know what it'll be like by that time and I don't want to spend that much money just to have a permanent account.

I like my paid account; I can justify twenty-five dollars spaced out over a year. I can't justify one hundred fifty bucks in one go, however, even though that would mean I would never have to renew. The fact that they upped the permanent account price/value by, essentially, two years is something that bugs me... fifty extra bucks didn't sound that bad until I realized that it would pay for my journal for another twenty-four months... and I didn't think long about getting a permanent account this time before nixing it.

[sandstar.livejournal.com]

Hey Dean:

I agree...$150.00 is pricey. What I think is weird is that they are only going to sell them for *24* hours...I get the visual of people fighting and elbowing each other for for all sorts of things.

Why not sell them all the time? It would seem that they would not lose very much money...

If and when I get to NYC, I will give you many {{{{big hugs}}}}.

When I think of change, I am reminded of a scene in Kundun. A young HH 14th Dalai Lama is playing army with one of his tutors...I don't remember the name of the person's character.

When the tutor wins the army game, and takes all of HH 14th Dalai Lama's men, the tutor loudly claps his hands then says, "Things change, Kundun."

I learned alot about change as an RN. One seond, one minute, one hour...

Thanks for this post :) Can I put it as a memory?

[crypticism.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful, wonderful post. I've been thinking a lot about that stuff lately.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Excellent post.

I wasn't aware of the offer. If I were working I'd give it serious thought. As it is, the timing is wrong for me, so I'll stay a paid user.

[elysiangirl.livejournal.com]

i <3 you hardcore, mister.

that is all.

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

I remember contemplating the risk back when I bought a permanent account. I wondered if I'd get tired of the place, or if it would disappear like the other communities I joined in the past. So far so good with LJ. I haven't regretted buying the permanent account at all. My experience here has gotten better instead of worse. The easy connection with my family members makes it invaluable.

[checkmeout.livejournal.com]

I blame you for my headache...Friday afternoons are not a time for thinking. (Or at least that's what my brain told me!) ;)

Have a great weekend!!!

[meadmaiden.livejournal.com]

Dude, I have a free account and have no interest in paying for anything.

[firewalkwithme.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd pay $150 for it, but I didn't have so much problem with $100 when they sold them a couple years ago. 6 years is a little long, but 4 I could easily see. Only two more to go and it'll be paid for, in essence. I don't regret it, except when I'm feeling ancy to change journals. But it's probably good I can't just up and do that. ;)

Oh no, what if I get another journal and get that one a permanent account? That'd be crazy. WHY AM I CONSIDERING IT. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

I got my permanent account for $100 and never regretted it. Mostly I figured the LJ experience had already paid for itself several times over. Even if I tire of it tomorrow, it has still been well worth the money. However: (1) everyone is different, (2) my income is more stable than yours, (3) $150 is 50% more than $100!, and (4) I agree that Friday nights aren't good for thinking. :)

[mightypen.livejournal.com]

Posts like this and I find myself wanting to take a long train ride with you whereupon I rest my head on your shoulder and you give me a peck on the cheek. Appreciating your thoughtfulness.