First Think, THEN Ink.

I have to think the "Awards Show" format is simply broken and needs a complete overhaul in order to be worth viewing. I mean, I know that the Oscar is the "most important" entertainment award in the world, and people from everywhere either tune in the telecast live or at least want to know the winners of the various categories, but a show like this, with the greatest living film stars in attendance (and clips of all the rest) should not ever lag.

Jon Stewart and his WGA staff did ok with most of the jokes. There were some lowbrow bits, like the "Baby" award segment with Jessica Alba, double nominee Cate Blanchett and the obligatory still photo of Nicole Kidman, for a cheap laugh. And most of the one liners worked. The opening animation with a UPS looking delivery truck driving through the Hollywood landscape with various characters and elements from the last 79 years of film was fun, and those are the sorts of things I like seeing on a show of this sort.

LA needs to build waterproof buildings, though. No fewer than three celebrities slipped on a wet spot at a podium, Stage Left at the Kodak, which reminded me that the LA Lakers had a RAIN delay during a game a couple of weeks ago!

But still... For me, I so want to reinvent the whole concept of the Award show. They did do a little bit of that, by having some troops stationed in Iraq present the Best Documentary Short (how did they manage to do that without the typical several second delay as the signal gets beamed up to the satellite and then back down to the control booth, I wonder?) Things like that help break the format up a bit and demonstrate the global reach of Oscar. That's especially true this year, with all four acting awards going to four foreign born actors!

I guess I'm asking what is an awards show all about? To me, you want to honor the people who are nominated, give those that win a chance to say something (trying to make them look as good as possible in the process) and make sure the program itself is entertaining to watch, since it is, after all, a television show.

The problem is the format is tired and everyone knows how it works, the people who win are hustled on and off so quickly they usually don't remember what they said in their speeches, and there doesn't seem to be an overriding focus for the show itself, which I think would instantly tighten things up.

I mean, it is film, so there should be more filmed bits throughout the show... and no, I don't mean those montage things... I'm talking about actual segments filmed by some of the directors and starring some of the nominated or winning actors. I know I suggested this last year, but I still like the idea, so I'm placeholdering it.

Ultimately, there should be a sense of fun for everyone... it is a great thing to be nominated, and can be a good thing to win.

Speaking of, I think I selected maybe one or two correct as far as Oscar predictions went and I believe they were the two writing awards, so I feel pretty good about that, at least. I should have remembered that the Academy Awards no longer seems to honor someone for their "body of work" or because this will be the last likely time they'll be nominated.

Eh. Maybe I should start by directing the Independent Spirit Awards. Work my way up to the SAGs and Emmys and top it off with the Golden Globes before trying to attack this monster.

Pipe dreamer. Oscar Screener. Yeah. It'll never happen.